Living

Breathing Laughing, Vital

And am I still a shell?
Because I don't take pictures
Because I twist and fuss in my sleep,
Because I'm just dying for you to call me
And just a user of people, of places, or things

It could be that I want to talk to you,
or it could be that I don't want to stand alone
and have it be clear how many miles away from the human race I truly am
It could be, that I'm happy
It could be that I'm confident
How temporary, yet consistant
For an hour a day, I'm up up up
But I stay home on saturday nights and I watch my friends blaze by
in the glimmer of their lives
while I'm still asleep and I don't mind it,
a ghost of a girl and I don't mind it

Because I used to live
with time cleary marked and my heart on my sleeve
Landmarks like Her eyes, my music, his sadness, red balloons, red trucks, red purpose, red lights, red ruin, vital burning red
And now with a shallow breathe and a boring beat I'm
blue shadows, a blue coat, and blue sleep

I don't think i'll ever wake up,
because I think the sun's far past set.