there's a reason i never look at you in the hallway

graduate so i never have to see your face again,
yes, i'm talking to you

i'm a cold bitter bitch
a blue-fingered monster
no red in my blood just a dead stare
no smoke in my lungs but i'm begging for more

i fucking flushed it down the toilet
potential locked in a drawer for later, maybe never
i'm only a crooked path to being just like him
a selfish leech who can't even send a mother's day card

she annoys me and i ignore his texts
they're few and far between anyway right?
i'm chasing a persona i'll never embody
rap songs and a sour attitude, the word hate and a silent soul

i'm still here somewhere under this mask of apathy
i promise i love you somewhere, sometimes
but for now i'm trying to be everything you aren't:
a let down, a fuck-up, a fake, a failure